And now...Silence

Have I Spoken of the silence before? I can't remember from the Racing mind, my life as a Runner. But even as the Noise increases less is being Said. I just see lips moving Signifying nothing. In this Void I feel isolated. This is the Dying of the Lying and no one knows what to Do. We all know what happens if we Break the Silence...

The welling Panic of seeking nothing but Empty words terrifies me. The constant Assaults on my sanity Wither me. This diary is both my Anchor and my Curse. I stay but For what? Whatever Dreams I had are just Whispers in the night, unreachable as the stars. The Liars haven't won but they are Winning.

I'm still Digesting my encounter with a Rainbow Chaser. Who can Believe any of those still exist! Our brown-red Mutant sky has long Forbid rainbows. But this girl was adamant in her Pursuit even as I pointed out its Futility. "Exactly!" she beamed, "I'm a threat to no one." She went on to Explain that the Truth of rainbows exists regardless of our choices. The Power Lords encourage her because they believe she represents Hope for their lies or at least keeps a False hope alive for those who choose not to See.

"The word is my Sword," she proudly proclaimed. So she Used the lie of chasing rainbows to Spread the truth? Can that Work? Is she fighting the Good Fight or in a State of delusion like most of us? I can say I felt Better while talking with her and her Word was good.

I Surrender

Meaningless! Everything is Meaningless! An unstoppable Tidal Wave is Coming to wash away this ungodly sphere; nowhere is Safe. This we have Unleashed upon ourselves. Do or don't do, the Outcome is the same. For us, the Sun has died and the Moons do hide. We stand as a beacon of Infamy throughout the Universe. The future is Void.

Vanity is Thy orb's name! All your precious Status Symbols of Survival will waste away into the same Rot that resides within. Fools of Fate thinking our made-up gods could Guarantee a future! Yes, the soon to be Deposed power lords mandated we worship these gods upon Pain of death and horrific Suffering. But all that guaranteed was Death itself.

Free me! Free me to the Wind, stepping Out of my Shackles at last. Let Nature takes its Course and Revenge. Her Justice is true and final. My writings, my Journal, what was I thinking? Perhaps a hope we'd turn to Salvation and my words a Warning to coming Generations to never turn back

But now my eyes are Open. The world can Choose unto itself. Only for my ownSoul can I now fight. The rest are Free to do likewise. But, yes, I see now what this Planet is: A world not to Remember.

Madness Rules the Sun

I stand as Unbearable Witness to the Final Consumption of my Virgin Planet. Voracious Wars battling for the remaining Remnants ensnare us in a Wicked Web of Furious Desire; a Blind Ball spinning out of control into space. Tell me, where is the Love brought onto the this orb with every tender Birth?

Celestial Tears scar my soul, burning me as I Watch everything I love Destroyed in passionate Ignorance. Reason dissipates like water from a balloon that cannot be Patched. How to Gather hope back in? Madness has lost the last of its Shame. It sits as Capricious King dispensing Death from a besotted Throne, Laughing though the hour is Short.

Only the Machines stand Inviolate, to be kept going regardless of Human cost. Like Feverish ants we pore over them as if our Future rests within their hollow Metal. Eyes drain Life in the Name of life. So Contaminated we are, ask the wandering lost souls and they'll decry the machines as more Worthy than us.

Magic Marauders murder in the thought an End will never come, Blessing themselves as Saved from any Doom. In Gangrene Dreams they attack their Good that torments them, Disease the vaunted Cure. Air Sirens wail helplessly through the night, Expressing our communal scream. The Weight of what I witness I cannot carry as darkness Buries the day. I can find no Light left to love in the world.

"Moon in my Pocket!"

In the constant Heartbeat of darkness, I get Disoriented. I don't know the Day or even hardly the Time. None of it seems Relevant. It's like being Suspended in Space with no Points of reality onto which to grab. My Identity is gone, Dissipating into the infinite Blackness. The Universe is Inert, drowning in Flooding fear, washing over me in Waves of Consciousness trying to suck me Under. These Assaulting days without Sun or Moon remind us every Soul has its Limits.

Others have reached their Capacity for Terror. In the Green Zones they mock these creatures of Heartbroken Minds who wander among us as the Living Dead, crying Out in pain, wailing for Help that Never comes. They speak of Conspiring Witches hidden in the mountains Authoring our demise. Their Certainty is not to be Swayed! Others carry Signs of their Crimes, begging me to Repent their sins. On a Hellishly hot day I saw a Shivering Sad-sack treading down the road swearing, "I've got the Moon in my Pocket!" Grasp for Lost Reality too long and the mind begins to Slip.

How much Longer do I have? None of this is New, of course. You can read about it in the History Journals of destroying our first planet. Knowledge does not pre-suppose Wisdom, however, and is no Substitute for a Good Heart. It's like watching a slow Poison emanating from the center of the Ocean, rippling out with the Tide until no Place is safe. The Non-Repenters warn hell is Real and coming. But I Say it's already Here.

A Comet crosses my Sky

I met a Comedian on the Run. Of all the People I thought I'd meet here in the Outlands, never would I Expect someone such as him. He reminded me I could still Laugh! He told me of Current life in the Green Zones, that they "do not live in Hope" but are "Desperate to protect their Lies at all cost to Whitewash the Future." Parents live in Dire Fear of their children once the kids see what Shape they have left the Planet. "No doubt!" I replied with a slap of the knee.

He spoke of the Profit to be had in Mocking the Poor, the Downtrodden, and the Exiled. "Tell them what they Want to Hear and they'll shower you with with wealth. But I can only find Humor in Truth. Speaking truth to Power Lords will get your ass stuck in the Outlands. I'm Proof of that!" I asked for the details. "Well, it was a Perfect Storm. Had to listen to some asshole speak about the Glorious System to everyone before I was to go on. Guy really got on my Nerves with Flippant sycophancy and Disconnected words. I mean, how you'd like to be Yelling for Help while Drowning and have some Weedhole say you're Faking it? He ends his speech saying something like, "We must Keep our great and glorious System exactly as it always has been. If we don't then all Hell will Break loose!"

"That sent me over the Edge. 'Yup,' I says when my turn came, 'Don't want all hell breaking Loose! Otherwise, we'd have the Green Zones shrinking every day!' I really got a Kick out of seeing them Squirm after that remark! Can't Admit I'm right, and can't Say I'm wrong. So I keep Going On how other things "aren't" going to hell until it Drives this Power Lord over the edge. He stands up all Haughty and Proud saying, 'I don't care what you say, you'll have to take this Super System of ours from my Cold Dead Hands!' So I point right back at him with a Big Smile: 'Yes, that's Exactly How it will Happen!' Everyone Laughed before they realized the Joke was on them."

"Things went Sour after the show. First, I got Banned, then Condemned. I got Labeled an Anarchist which, you know, means they can do pretty much Anything they want to you." I asked how he planned to Continue and his answer Surprised me to no end. "Oh, it's easy. You just have to be Willing to Give up your Life. Stay free! They can have my Dead Body. But I'm keeping my Humor." His light Lifted my Soul like it has not been in Ages. His Bravery inspired me. He reminded me of what I'd nearly Forgotten: that Life is Love.

The Busy Men are still busy

My Scavenging can take me almost anywhere (except behind the High Walls of the so-called Elites' compounds). It was nighttime and I came upon a Transport Hub in what I thought was the middle of Nowhere. How many More of these are there I do not Know about?? When the Power Lords want something, it gets done no matter how Helpless they Claim to be when it comes to Helping the masses. For them, it's all about the Taking.

In the distance I saw these little black Demon silhouettes furiously moving barrel after Barrel onto planes to be hauled off behind the high walls, No Doubt. The figurines moved as if they were possessed, as Ruthless and Relentless as their masters. There was a certain Mania to their movements like they Feared an Unknown force would suddenly interrupt their efforts for good. I guess on some level they know Time is running out, that this Planet only has so much to Give.

I guess the Looting of the Resources will go on right up until the End. Wasn't until I saw it with my own Eyes did I fully realize this. Damn. If one does not see the Possibility of Preservation then it makes Sense to keep taking until there's Nothing left. On this Precept they have bet the Lives on this planet - as well as their Immortal Souls. If only we'd had the same Commitment to giving as to taking we'd have a Future and our eyes would be able to Gaze upon the Sun once again.

The Happening is happening

My heart is Heavy. The Wounds of the World dread my soul. To whom does one yell from the Mountaintops to when the planet is Dead? Silence did not save us.

There's a Dawning of a new Consciousness. Pools of denial are Drying Up, leaving no place left to Hide. I've seen men look down upon their Hands in Horror as red stains of murdered blood appear. Panicked by Revelation, they go mad in the bright Daylight, screaming for help yet as Helpless as their Victims. Women for War weep and beg for the return of their children Sacrificed for Lies of promised security. By saying there was No Other Way to live they have left themselves with No Way to live.

What was Never Supposed To Happen is happening. Not content with destroying our First planet, we've lost our miraculous Second chance. Despite all our High Talk and Grand Promises, we did not learn our Lesson. We spoke of anything and everything - except Love.