And now...Silence

Have I Spoken of the silence before? I can't remember from the Racing mind, my life as a Runner. But even as the Noise increases less is being Said. I just see lips moving Signifying nothing. In this Void I feel isolated. This is the Dying of the Lying and no one knows what to Do. We all know what happens if we Break the Silence...

The welling Panic of seeking nothing but Empty words terrifies me. The constant Assaults on my sanity Wither me. This diary is both my Anchor and my Curse. I stay but For what? Whatever Dreams I had are just Whispers in the night, unreachable as the stars. The Liars haven't won but they are Winning.

I'm still Digesting my encounter with a Rainbow Chaser. Who can Believe any of those still exist! Our brown-red Mutant sky has long Forbid rainbows. But this girl was adamant in her Pursuit even as I pointed out its Futility. "Exactly!" she beamed, "I'm a threat to no one." She went on to Explain that the Truth of rainbows exists regardless of our choices. The Power Lords encourage her because they believe she represents Hope for their lies or at least keeps a False hope alive for those who choose not to See.

"The word is my Sword," she proudly proclaimed. So she Used the lie of chasing rainbows to Spread the truth? Can that Work? Is she fighting the Good Fight or in a State of delusion like most of us? I can say I felt Better while talking with her and her Word was good.

I Surrender

Meaningless! Everything is Meaningless! An unstoppable Tidal Wave is Coming to wash away this ungodly sphere; nowhere is Safe. This we have Unleashed upon ourselves. Do or don't do, the Outcome is the same. For us, the Sun has died and the Moons do hide. We stand as a beacon of Infamy throughout the Universe. The future is Void.

Vanity is Thy orb's name! All your precious Status Symbols of Survival will waste away into the same Rot that resides within. Fools of Fate thinking our made-up gods could Guarantee a future! Yes, the soon to be Deposed power lords mandated we worship these gods upon Pain of death and horrific Suffering. But all that guaranteed was Death itself.

Free me! Free me to the Wind, stepping Out of my Shackles at last. Let Nature takes its Course and Revenge. Her Justice is true and final. My writings, my Journal, what was I thinking? Perhaps a hope we'd turn to Salvation and my words a Warning to coming Generations to never turn back

But now my eyes are Open. The world can Choose unto itself. Only for my ownSoul can I now fight. The rest are Free to do likewise. But, yes, I see now what this Planet is: A world not to Remember.

Madness Rules the Sun

I stand as Unbearable Witness to the Final Consumption of my Virgin Planet. Voracious Wars battling for the remaining Remnants ensnare us in a Wicked Web of Furious Desire; a Blind Ball spinning out of control into space. Tell me, where is the Love brought onto the this orb with every tender Birth?

Celestial Tears scar my soul, burning me as I Watch everything I love Destroyed in passionate Ignorance. Reason dissipates like water from a balloon that cannot be Patched. How to Gather hope back in? Madness has lost the last of its Shame. It sits as Capricious King dispensing Death from a besotted Throne, Laughing though the hour is Short.

Only the Machines stand Inviolate, to be kept going regardless of Human cost. Like Feverish ants we pore over them as if our Future rests within their hollow Metal. Eyes drain Life in the Name of life. So Contaminated we are, ask the wandering lost souls and they'll decry the machines as more Worthy than us.

Magic Marauders murder in the thought an End will never come, Blessing themselves as Saved from any Doom. In Gangrene Dreams they attack their Good that torments them, Disease the vaunted Cure. Air Sirens wail helplessly through the night, Expressing our communal scream. The Weight of what I witness I cannot carry as darkness Buries the day. I can find no Light left to love in the world.

"Moon in my Pocket!"

In the constant Heartbeat of darkness, I get Disoriented. I don't know the Day or even hardly the Time. None of it seems Relevant. It's like being Suspended in Space with no Points of reality onto which to grab. My Identity is gone, Dissipating into the infinite Blackness. The Universe is Inert, drowning in Flooding fear, washing over me in Waves of Consciousness trying to suck me Under. These Assaulting days without Sun or Moon remind us every Soul has its Limits.

Others have reached their Capacity for Terror. In the Green Zones they mock these creatures of Heartbroken Minds who wander among us as the Living Dead, crying Out in pain, wailing for Help that Never comes. They speak of Conspiring Witches hidden in the mountains Authoring our demise. Their Certainty is not to be Swayed! Others carry Signs of their Crimes, begging me to Repent their sins. On a Hellishly hot day I saw a Shivering Sad-sack treading down the road swearing, "I've got the Moon in my Pocket!" Grasp for Lost Reality too long and the mind begins to Slip.

How much Longer do I have? None of this is New, of course. You can read about it in the History Journals of destroying our first planet. Knowledge does not pre-suppose Wisdom, however, and is no Substitute for a Good Heart. It's like watching a slow Poison emanating from the center of the Ocean, rippling out with the Tide until no Place is safe. The Non-Repenters warn hell is Real and coming. But I Say it's already Here.

A Comet crosses my Sky

I met a Comedian on the Run. Of all the People I thought I'd meet here in the Outlands, never would I Expect someone such as him. He reminded me I could still Laugh! He told me of Current life in the Green Zones, that they "do not live in Hope" but are "Desperate to protect their Lies at all cost to Whitewash the Future." Parents live in Dire Fear of their children once the kids see what Shape they have left the Planet. "No doubt!" I replied with a slap of the knee.

He spoke of the Profit to be had in Mocking the Poor, the Downtrodden, and the Exiled. "Tell them what they Want to Hear and they'll shower you with with wealth. But I can only find Humor in Truth. Speaking truth to Power Lords will get your ass stuck in the Outlands. I'm Proof of that!" I asked for the details. "Well, it was a Perfect Storm. Had to listen to some asshole speak about the Glorious System to everyone before I was to go on. Guy really got on my Nerves with Flippant sycophancy and Disconnected words. I mean, how you'd like to be Yelling for Help while Drowning and have some Weedhole say you're Faking it? He ends his speech saying something like, "We must Keep our great and glorious System exactly as it always has been. If we don't then all Hell will Break loose!"

"That sent me over the Edge. 'Yup,' I says when my turn came, 'Don't want all hell breaking Loose! Otherwise, we'd have the Green Zones shrinking every day!' I really got a Kick out of seeing them Squirm after that remark! Can't Admit I'm right, and can't Say I'm wrong. So I keep Going On how other things "aren't" going to hell until it Drives this Power Lord over the edge. He stands up all Haughty and Proud saying, 'I don't care what you say, you'll have to take this Super System of ours from my Cold Dead Hands!' So I point right back at him with a Big Smile: 'Yes, that's Exactly How it will Happen!' Everyone Laughed before they realized the Joke was on them."

"Things went Sour after the show. First, I got Banned, then Condemned. I got Labeled an Anarchist which, you know, means they can do pretty much Anything they want to you." I asked how he planned to Continue and his answer Surprised me to no end. "Oh, it's easy. You just have to be Willing to Give up your Life. Stay free! They can have my Dead Body. But I'm keeping my Humor." His light Lifted my Soul like it has not been in Ages. His Bravery inspired me. He reminded me of what I'd nearly Forgotten: that Life is Love.

The Busy Men are still busy

My Scavenging can take me almost anywhere (except behind the High Walls of the so-called Elites' compounds). It was nighttime and I came upon a Transport Hub in what I thought was the middle of Nowhere. How many More of these are there I do not Know about?? When the Power Lords want something, it gets done no matter how Helpless they Claim to be when it comes to Helping the masses. For them, it's all about the Taking.

In the distance I saw these little black Demon silhouettes furiously moving barrel after Barrel onto planes to be hauled off behind the high walls, No Doubt. The figurines moved as if they were possessed, as Ruthless and Relentless as their masters. There was a certain Mania to their movements like they Feared an Unknown force would suddenly interrupt their efforts for good. I guess on some level they know Time is running out, that this Planet only has so much to Give.

I guess the Looting of the Resources will go on right up until the End. Wasn't until I saw it with my own Eyes did I fully realize this. Damn. If one does not see the Possibility of Preservation then it makes Sense to keep taking until there's Nothing left. On this Precept they have bet the Lives on this planet - as well as their Immortal Souls. If only we'd had the same Commitment to giving as to taking we'd have a Future and our eyes would be able to Gaze upon the Sun once again.

The Happening is happening

My heart is Heavy. The Wounds of the World dread my soul. To whom does one yell from the Mountaintops to when the planet is Dead? Silence did not save us.

There's a Dawning of a new Consciousness. Pools of denial are Drying Up, leaving no place left to Hide. I've seen men look down upon their Hands in Horror as red stains of murdered blood appear. Panicked by Revelation, they go mad in the bright Daylight, screaming for help yet as Helpless as their Victims. Women for War weep and beg for the return of their children Sacrificed for Lies of promised security. By saying there was No Other Way to live they have left themselves with No Way to live.

What was Never Supposed To Happen is happening. Not content with destroying our First planet, we've lost our miraculous Second chance. Despite all our High Talk and Grand Promises, we did not learn our Lesson. We spoke of anything and everything - except Love.

"It's Worse Than You Think"

The truth is Dying an Ugly death. It will die Alone, and in the Dark. It won't be Whispered or even Thought. It will just Disappear like a wind that passes through never to be known again. Within me I try to keep it Alive - but to what End? It is spoken Less and less as the Flames of danger are Stoked round us ever higher. You can see it in their faces: the Broken dreams, the Twisted lies, the Heartbreak of separation, Songs that echo only in the past. We are Drowning in a sea of unreality. Soon, there'll be no more Tears left to cry.

Three days ago I met an Excommunicated Power Lord. He was Desperate to speak, to tell me How Things Are, to convey the State Of The Rot. "It's Worse than you think," he begged me to see. "I was Cast Out for my lying - I mean, for not lying well enough. Those people there now - they're Animals, without human Impulse. They've Boiled their lives down to craven Creatures who speak Only to deceive. The have Zero consideration for anyone or anything. They thrive on Betrayal. In the end, they'll destroy even themselves, Eating each other alive - and taking rest of us Down with them. There'll be Nothing left. Believe me, I'm not exaggerating one Iota on this."

Believe him I already did. Then he continued his false Crusade.

"The people must know! If only they knew the Reality of what's happening. They must Listen to me! Then things would change! Throw the monsters out!"

Then I told him reality he did not Want to Hear: the Monsters are in charge because the People are monsters.

"Never!" he indignantly rebuked. "Never will I Believe that! The people have been Deceived. With good leaders we'd be Saved."

I repeated: the people Crucified the good leaders, that's why there's None left. There can be no deception without first Self-deception.

This robber, having been Robbed of his false hope, stormed off Cursing me as a man without Hope.

But I have read the Hearts of those who speak from on High. Those who Lie - and those who Wish to be lied to - grow and Fester in number. Rare is a soul who sees the Light. Most are still Stubborn and Reluctant to give up the old ways despite the Ruination they see happening before their Eyes. This now-Wandering Power Lord was the same. He spoke of going back to a Time of a more Moderate evil. That was his Idea of Sanity. He said Ridding the world of all evil was too Radical and "would never Sell." I Smiled at him, saying nothing, another piece of truth Gone with the wind.

Witness to the End

Like Relentless drops of Blood from a cut body, Hope drips out of us. It's like being strapped to a table, Helplessly watching your life slip away. You can Scream or not scream, it makes no difference. There is no one to Hear. And yet I still hear talk of a Future.

Who can Sustain this? Who can Endure this? Why is this Madness Allowed to continue? I must Shut my mind to the insanity lest I lose it altogether. Yet I know Denial is the Enemy. It sits on the Throne of power, laughing at our foolishness as we hope against hope to receive Life when choosing Death. But as hope Drips away it becomes more and more Obvious the Wrongness of the Path we've taken. Why do we Fear Survival so?

"Nothing can be Done," is the Official Mantra of the Authorities. So as houses Burn with Families inside, we walk by and Shrug, repeating the mantra. The sky Darkens with polluted ash, many Starve as food is refused, and those who Speak honestly are Crucified - without exception. We see this, hear this, and live this in traumatic Silence. Would an alien Observer wonder why we don't Rise up to Save ourselves? I certainly would.

I do not know how to Reconcile this world. Love has gone Underground, it's the last safe place to be. But its Time is limited too. Our dreams are Twisted, in contradiction of Nature. Some say hope is not Possible because it never was. The truth is we are making that a Reality by rejecting that which can Save us. The suffering is Intolerable and the Tragedy Inconceivable. I bear Witness to this and my Eyes will never be the same.

Hunters of Fear have no Fear

My Head spins faster than the World. Naked Evil has Revealed itself and Who or What can stop it? Even at rest my heart Races. The Dogs of Whores have been set upon us, to outright kill and destroy, period. Resources are too Scarce to share. So they make up Unreasonable reasons to Kill the Weak and Powerless. The dogs hunt us in a living Rage, angry at being Used by the Power Lords, Angry that doing their Lords' Bidding is the Only way they can feel Safe - and angry that Knowing they still aren't safe anyway. Terror begets Terror begets Terror.

I've asked before Why do I even Write? My words can only Condemn me in their Eyes. It is because I'm Forced to Keep my own Counsel. My body is Molting under the Duress of Breathing. The Worst of what I Foresaw has come to pass - and I cannot Bear it. I can't stand to See so many people Hurting. At Night, when Hiding in Abandoned buildings with other Refugees, I hear children Crying the Tears I dare not Unleash. We will Not be Rescued.

My hair Falls out. My Hope Runs out. I see no Way out. The dogs search Everywhere, Relentless in their Zeal, for they are Certain of what they do, so Closed are their Minds. The beasts and beastmasters fight for an End where No One survives. And they have been given to Rule. They believe the Sun does not Touch them. And so far, that has Proven so. Lust has won the Daylight. I Know that in The End they will be Consumed by their own Fire, never to Rise again. But what Good does that do me Now?

Today I was a Fire Man

The Green Zones are seething Cesspools of anger. Ten days a week, Night and Day, giant turbine fans blow the Radioactive Poison in the Sky away from their View. They don't Care it's still in the Air, just so long as they can't See it. But even the Fans aren't Enough now. What we Must see every day in the Dead Zone now they must Too. The Finger-pointing and Blaming and Backbiting has exploded as the Green Zoners Scramble to maintain their denial. I would find it Hilarious were it not so Tragic.

The most Heinous and Vile Voices have risen up to take Advantage of the outrage. They make Impossible Promises to the willingly Gullible and the outright Deceivers. Love is all but Dead. Children Mindlessly repeat baseless mantras taught as Fact, delighting in Taunting any Peer who speaks a Truth that betrays our Doomed future. In the Green Zones, they Worry more about their poor Feelings being Offended than Nature herself. Make someone Cry with reality and you're a Bad Person. Make someone Sing with a Falsehood and you're called Good. But they all walk on Eggshells because the truth is Known already.

And in my Rage I decided to help them.

Mountains of poisonous Debris are shoved into the Dead Zones each and every day without exception. The Toxic items are made in the same Factories that have permanently Darkened our skies. So in my sense of Irony, I decided to send them Back into the air with heaping Flames of Deadly black smoke. I Sang a Wicked song as I poured Accelerant down one aisle and then merrily the next. I Screamed to the heavens as I lit the Blaze, "If you want Poison so Badly, here it is!" I watched in Perverse satisfaction as the Inky black billows infested the Sky I had for so long Fought to keep clean.

No one came to Arrest me. No one even came to Investigate. No one even bothered to Put Out the fire. They could Not. Because that would mean Admitting there's a Problem in the first place. This must be how the Power Lords feel when they Get Away with their daylight Sins. It's true you're Either part of the problem or part of the Solution - and burning the chemicals in the Landfill is certainly no solution. But I'm so Mixed Up and Confounded it seemed like an Answer at the time. I Pray for the end of this World.

One Billion Dead

Even in the Green Zone the Smoke is choking them

Power Lord cheers on the nightmare: "All is well!"

I can smell the Smoke from here, a Burning Hell from over the horizon, swallowing up Hope with every passing second. Evil has been Unleashed - and the Power Lords call it salvation. One billion Dead, and counting. You can hear the Message everywhere in the Green Zone: "The Dead Zoners are Coming! The Dead Zoners are Coming! They're going to Take EVERYTHING unless we stop them!" Day and Night the message plays over and over on all Communication channels, whipping up a relentless Fury. First, they Pollute their minds, then they pollute the Atmosphere with smoke of a Thousand Fires.

Even as the Green Zoners burn us alive here in the Dead Zone, you can hear Calls for so-called Prayers for our welfare. The Monsters! Maybe I should Not Lament our self-annihilation after all. Nature will speak as always with Perfect Harmony. It is we who Violate that harmony - and how can we not pay a Penalty? The suffering is beyond Comprehension. Only in small Doses can I take in the grief of what's happening. Having already ruined one planet, how can we ask Clemency for Ruining another? I am Torn, asking the Universe to be both Merciful and merciless with us. No greater power Need save us: we're the only ones Here.

I have seen the Tears roll down soot covered Faces devastated with Staggering disbelief and Unspeakable horror. The Green Zoners think (or Claim to think) they are saving their Future by destroying lives. Despite all the Signs I've written about, I have always hoped Against hope that we'd turn towards the Light, that we'd claim the Treasure of life that we are Promised. But comes a time when we reach a point of No Return. If we are not there yet, then we are Dangerously close. Green Zoners will tolerate any Atrocity they Deceive themselves will make them Safe from their Sins. Who can Pity their Fate?

Former Wars are just as Fatal

We don't have Wars anymore. Because they Never Stop, and the Reason for them is Forgotten, and Victory is not even Definable, our Shame in continuing them must now be Buried. We call them Pacifications, or Freedom Fighting, or even Former Wars. The Weight of Guilt burdens our souls with increasing Distress. So we Renamed our Sins to be endeavors of Good and suddenly we are Righteous once more, sanctified by our glorious Fig Leaf to give us cover. Cover from Whom, I wonder. It is only Ourselves we can deceive.

They recruit the Lonely, the Loveless, and the Forlorn to do the Dirty Work, feeding them a Compost of lies that they are Preserving the good. These Noble Missions give purpose to the Purposeless, filling the Void our world creates with our Jobs of rape and destruction. We are Craving something Real but are Blocked by our Greed. Our Wars are nothing more than a Mad Scramble to gobble up the remaining resources until they are gone. Are we really so Determined to be the Laughingstock of the Universe, a Dead Planet to mark us for all eternity as Fools too stupid to Live?

The Power Lords actually think they are Clever in their Wickedness. They see the Soulless Soldiers return from battle with their Minds Ripped in two who then turn the Gun on their own Heads. These Monsters Praise the soldiers' efforts with their Lips but despise them Behind closed doors. But they refuse to see their Power is Poison, that they Ingest their own Death. They are Freaks of Futility who Hide themselves away thinking their Power Poison makes them Safe. Only at the point of death do they realize their Self-Betrayal.

I'm all Alone now

No one Knows of me. My thoughts are my Own, I never Share. I notice no one else is either. Part of it is the Politicizers, perpetually Seeking to turn even the most Innocent of comments into Heresy, ripping you to Shreds without Hesitation or Compunction. And Part of is the times we live in. I miss everyone.


I've become a Cheat and a Swindler and a Scoundrel to remain alive. But in doing this I Died. No one Condemns me for this. Anyone who Sees you Walking around just Assumes you're a cheat and swindler too. The Power Lords publicly condemn the savagery of our world while privately Fostering the chaos and greed. I wish to Speak of my Sins but to whom can I Confess? None have Ears - it's too Dangerous. So I stagger along, writing this for no one. Very little of Me remains. I can't even look back at what I've Written before. It would only make me Realize my Loss of life.

Where is the Point? I die to Live and live to Die. The mad Scramble to consume the Last of the resources has Overtaken us. We Hate what we've become. Daily Treason assaults the mind, leaving you feeling there's Nowhere to turn: Imprisoned for life. Stranger avoids Stranger on the road; kill first before you're Killed. One must be a Crook to survive in the Green Zones or a Killer here in the Outlands. I want to scream to the heavens but Heaven has no Door.

Something Has Happened

Something has happened. To Me. To the World. To Time itself. Something reached the Point of No Return. It was Imperceptible in its event but you can feel the Aftermath. The Blackening has spread too far, too wide to ever be put back to the way things were. We kept Getting Used to less, and then Less again, always saying to ourselves, "Someday...". But that Day never comes.

I can see now it will be Night forever.

Great Panic is gripping hearts in fear, Choking us from speaking. What's left of the Press dare not speak truly of our Dire demise lest they be destroyed completely. At First, reporters dug for truth relentlessly, thinking they were serving a Purpose and helping bring Salvation. But we have been proven Untrustworthy. The People are the Enemy of the people. Hysterical scapegoating, Screaming confrontations, Wild-Eyed denial have reached a fever pitch, all signs of our Rot and Decay. No, never Admit the bad things happening - because it's the admittance that makes them be.

This is how terror comes to Rule: too many people Force death to come before they'll admit they're on the Wrong path.

I can see what the Difference is: hope. Suddenly Seems insane that I ever had hope but now that it's gone it's World Turning. Just Sink into the black and let it be. The Power Lords become more Vicious every day in desperate Bid to keep their place. Fearing Dissent over all else, they actually increase their Worship of cruelty in hopes of frightening their victims into Silence. Even as we openly Repeat the mistakes of the Past, our Stubbornness remains firm. Light must be crushed, our Misdeeds both Committed and Planned are too Numerous to be seen.

Last of the Wind Riders is dead

Never have I felt such Sorrow. My Life Force is drained. I see not the Point of taking another breath. For what is there to Fight for? I stagger along, Numb and Dazed. Dear reader, if these words ever come to light, Pray your planet never reaches such a point. A darkness has Descended over our world. We stand abandoned in the Universe. I cannot bear the Shame of what we've done. I'm ready to find a rock, sit down, and Die. I've just been Kidding myself, a member of the walking dead after all. I always knew this Day would come, I just couldn't face it.

In the Green Zones they are celebrating - even if it does mean their own death. The Wind Riders flew over us, pointing out the dangers they saw below and the dangers they saw coming. The Power Lords bristled at the Riders' words. Reverence for the Riders undermined their base. They Twisted and Perverted the deeds of the Riders, declaring them enemies, that it is not doing evil that is Wrong, but to have it pointed out is Wrong. They stoked their followers to a Fever pitch, blaming the Riders for the Ills in their lives. Oh, the Lords are crafty in their Deceit, bemoaning every Rider murdered while stoking the Flames against them. There is no way Forward with treachery like that.

I see the Green Zoners sitting on comfortable cushions with earnest eyes closed, praying to the gods of Selfishness so they their Way of life may continue unabated. Anyone or anything that Opposes their comfort is declared evil. When the Wind Riders warned of the deforestation that led to the first Dead Zone, their days were Numbered. I see that now all too Clearly. The 'Holy People' put a contract out on them then called it the will of God. But the words of the Riders were my last Link to hope. As long as Truth is being expressed we still have a Chance. No one is left to Challenge the liars as they grow Conceited and openly Push people around.

I'm ready to take my Rest, and let Nature take her revenge.

Days of Rain and Laughter

Days of Rain and Laughter

Where the Beginning

Is as good as After

That's a part of a Poem I wrote long ago, in the before times: before the we lost the sun behind eternal Brown Clouds, before we ramped up the War Machine as in the Old World, before we became Two instead of One. These phrases have been long forgotten to me, as if washed down a Stream. It's unpleasant to think of what we've Lost. But I overheard some Green Zones kids laughing in the Face of love. I knew just from the Sound of their voices they had never put foot in a Dead Zone, their faith in their ignorance Unshakable. I instantly hated them, of course, but then I Remembered the poetry from my youth. It's simply too horrible to believe there's no Future.

Every face a Living smile

While our Cares are few

We love our Reckless style

But we have Precedence. We've Destroyed futures before with No Way Out. Coming to this Outpost was a thousand to one chance and six thousand years ago we Vowed we had learned our lesson. No more lucky strikes after this. We thought our success in getting a Second Chance was the hand of Destiny. We still repeat that Mantra to this day. And Feeling it's our destiny to survive we've then done nothing to Ensure it. It's like Jumping from a plane without a parachute, thinking why bother when you're Untouchable. Nature has no Mercy for fools.

Beware these seeds we're sowing!

We may not live carefree

Once we see what we've been growing

There is a great secret among us No One is allowed to speak or even give a Hint to. To allude to it in any way is like setting off a Bomb. It flips a Hidden Switch inside us, removing our Masks, unleashing Murderous savagery without thought, reason or Compunction. In other words, to Breathe is suicide. But every day it gets Harder to deny this secret. A consciousness hurls ever forward, unable to Unknow what's known. We sense that clock Ticking, hounding us, and to one day catch us, the Game over. But I will say it Now - easy for a doomed man to do. Despite our praise, and myths, and justice professed to be loved, we never did Repent.

I've come to Fear the Wind

My soul feels abandoned, pushed to the Edge of the universe. There's Nowhere I can turn. The sound of this Whistling wind, it's more terrifying, more lonely, more despairing than any Sound I've ever heard. What is there to fight For on this ravaged orb? It's as if we're Angry with the planet, outraged by its trying to Survive, that we must make it as Dead as we are for us to live. Through this desolation I Wander, horrified as never before.

I've seen destruction before, but this is on a new Level. There's almost a sense of Panic to it, that nothing can be left behind alive to bear Witness. But I do witness - and thus become enemy of the Power Lords simply by virtue of my sight. But to whom can I plea? Who can Hear my voice? This Apocalyptic feeling in which I Drown, who will ever know of it? And as we've seen before on old Earth, the Destroyers who are so desperate to Hide their dastardly deeds will one day destroy even themselves. Why do they Worry of witnesses?

I hear no hope in the sound of this whistling wind. No day passes without brown Chemical Clouds in the sky. The normal is to be Abnormal. When we first came to this outpost 6,000 years ago we Absolved ourselves. We knew Better. No way we destroy a second planet. But it seems Time has played us for Fools, that even as we quote the ideals of our original Founders it's only to give cover to our Betrayal. "Give us your Trust! You know we'd never repeat the mistakes of our Savage ancestors!" It became possible for us to wreck ourselves the minute we Decided it is Impossible to happen.

I don't even know why I keep this Journal. My first instinct was to document the Insanity and bring it to Light. But it's as if I've been Sobered dry by this nuclear wind. It makes me feel as if I've never been born. What's the point of Writing about a doomed world? Who is my audience? Realizing this has Forced me to consider just how Helpless I am. I'll be washed away, another dead body amid the abandoned industrial buildings so Toxic not even weeds can can grow. But I hope if some strange Alien does happen upon this diary someday when this orb is finally devoid of life, that you dear alien will Understand that if nothing else, I had to make a plea to the Universe.

Road Strikers re-emerge from the pages of History

It's something very few want to Talk about. It's bad enough we Destroyed one planet, what excuse can there be for Two? Gangs of Road Strikers live to terrorize once again just as they did Thousands of years ago. They Ride Out from the Green Zones to rape and pillage the Weak and Defenseless, feeling Entitled to their Taking because taking is what it's all about in this world. We like to Pretend we are something different than what we are but Desperation causes Revelation (all over again).

I've read a few Mock editorials bemoaning the rise of the Road Strikers but those writers are either disconnected from their own Part in the Criminality (giving themselves moral cover) or if genuine are Rebuked and Marginalized by the-powers-that-be as Hysterical and (ironically) Disconnected. But really, what can they Say? To admit we are going down the same road of Self-Annihilation as before is to admit Defeat and - worse - Responsibility. But by turning a Blind Eye we ensure the Strikers perpetuation.

What I also find Amusing are the self-laudatory pieces these type of events incur. Talk of how Great we were to start all over with the New Mandate, how brave our Ancestors were who fought for it - the Implication being we are still as great now as we were then. But we've passed the Crossroads where we either Commit to the Mandate or Sink into wholesale Selfishness which renders our previous principles Moot. The Mandate now is just words on Paper. We dream of a Past that never was to create the Illusion of a Present that does not exist.

Some say we must draw our weapons to Protect us against the raiding hordes of the Strikers. It's true these Beasts commit their Treachery with a ruthless relish, Seeing no crime in what they do, often repeating words of the Mandate as they rape! The Strikers love to Libel those in Need as the destroyers of Society even as these monsters burn houses with Families inside. But while guns may Kill a few of the them they cannot stop the Phenomenon of the Strikers or the underlying Mentality. Only Complete Condemnation by all of us can do that. But like I said, True Voices are few and far between - and those are Maligned and Minimized by the Mad Masses.

Mad Bombers are getting Madder

When bombs go off in the Dead Zones they get no notice. But Green Zone bombings get Round The Clock coverage. Who are the bombers? Why do they do it? What do they hope to accomplish? Nobody. No reason. Nothing. All that really matters is the Frequency.

We know we are Dying. Everyone can see we are dying. No one actually Admits it. As we continue to Fray, the bombings increase. It is the Sorrow, and the Pity. They call them Cancer Cells as the bombers cluster together, Eating Away at society. Terror is their Lifeblood, their Addiction; they always need more. Even without the Random bombings, life here is terror. How else to describe a place with no Tomorrow?

The Entitlement of the Green Zoners gives them a license for Tyranny. They live in dire fear of the Evil they have Unleashed over the centuries. They believe that by calling themselves Good they can kill at Will any person they deem Bad. Their self-Paranoia devours them even without the Bombers to provide an Incarnate enemy. For the bombers, their bombs are their Words and Destruction their creed. Two sides of a coin Fighting one another in hopeless Deadlock.

I am not Immune to the Rage, our true Enemy. Many are those whose sole Dedication is keeping rage alive. Peace is the Provocation for their bombings. To them, if others Live they feel terrorized; Left Behind. While at the same time the Overlords feel terrorized by the Truth, waging war with Lies as Weapons. This is our Madness. As the Brown Clouds deepen in darkness, blocking the Sun, Draining our crops and Souls, we go ever more insane. How can we not?

What is Done is done because we each pursue the Path we believe will bring us Love.