Tuesday, May 16, 2017
My soul feels abandoned, pushed to the Edge of the universe. There's Nowhere I can turn. The sound of this Whistling wind, it's more terrifying, more lonely, more despairing than any Sound I've ever heard. What is there to fight For on this ravaged orb? It's as if we're Angry with the planet, outraged by its trying to Survive, that we must make it as Dead as we are for us to live. Through this desolation I Wander, horrified as never before.
I've seen destruction before, but this is on a new Level. There's almost a sense of Panic to it, that nothing can be left behind alive to bear Witness. But I do witness - and thus become enemy of the Power Lords simply by virtue of my sight. But to whom can I plea? Who can Hear my voice? This Apocalyptic feeling in which I Drown, who will ever know of it? And as we've seen before on old Earth, the Destroyers who are so desperate to Hide their dastardly deeds will one day destroy even themselves. Why do they Worry of witnesses?
I hear no hope in the sound of this whistling wind. No day passes without brown Chemical Clouds in the sky. The normal is to be Abnormal. When we first came to this outpost 6,000 years ago we Absolved ourselves. We knew Better. No way we destroy a second planet. But it seems Time has played us for Fools, that even as we quote the ideals of our original Founders it's only to give cover to our Betrayal. "Give us your Trust! You know we'd never repeat the mistakes of our Savage ancestors!" It became possible for us to wreck ourselves the minute we Decided it is Impossible to happen.
I don't even know why I keep this Journal. My first instinct was to document the Insanity and bring it to Light. But it's as if I've been Sobered dry by this nuclear wind. It makes me feel as if I've never been born. What's the point of Writing about a doomed world? Who is my audience? Realizing this has Forced me to consider just how Helpless I am. I'll be washed away, another dead body amid the abandoned industrial buildings so Toxic not even weeds can can grow. But I hope if some strange Alien does happen upon this diary someday when this orb is finally devoid of life, that you dear alien will Understand that if nothing else, I had to make a plea to the Universe.
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
It's something very few want to Talk about. It's bad enough we Destroyed one planet, what excuse can there be for Two? Gangs of Road Strikers live to terrorize once again just as they did Thousands of years ago. They Ride Out from the Green Zones to rape and pillage the Weak and Defenseless, feeling Entitled to their Taking because taking is what it's all about in this world. We like to Pretend we are something different than what we are but Desperation causes Revelation (all over again).
I've read a few Mock editorials bemoaning the rise of the Road Strikers but those writers are either disconnected from their own Part in the Criminality (giving themselves moral cover) or if genuine are Rebuked and Marginalized by the-powers-that-be as Hysterical and (ironically) Disconnected. But really, what can they Say? To admit we are going down the same road of Self-Annihilation as before is to admit Defeat and - worse - Responsibility. But by turning a Blind Eye we ensure the Strikers perpetuation.
What I also find Amusing are the self-laudatory pieces these type of events incur. Talk of how Great we were to start all over with the New Mandate, how brave our Ancestors were who fought for it - the Implication being we are still as great now as we were then. But we've passed the Crossroads where we either Commit to the Mandate or Sink into wholesale Selfishness which renders our previous principles Moot. The Mandate now is just words on Paper. We dream of a Past that never was to create the Illusion of a Present that does not exist.
Some say we must draw our weapons to Protect us against the raiding hordes of the Strikers. It's true these Beasts commit their Treachery with a ruthless relish, Seeing no crime in what they do, often repeating words of the Mandate as they rape! The Strikers love to Libel those in Need as the destroyers of Society even as these monsters burn houses with Families inside. But while guns may Kill a few of the them they cannot stop the Phenomenon of the Strikers or the underlying Mentality. Only Complete Condemnation by all of us can do that. But like I said, True Voices are few and far between - and those are Maligned and Minimized by the Mad Masses.
Saturday, March 26, 2016
When bombs go off in the Dead Zones they get no notice. But Green Zone bombings get Round The Clock coverage. Who are the bombers? Why do they do it? What do they hope to accomplish? Nobody. No reason. Nothing. All that really matters is the Frequency.
We know we are Dying. Everyone can see we are dying. No one actually Admits it. As we continue to Fray, the bombings increase. It is the Sorrow, and the Pity. They call them Cancer Cells as the bombers cluster together, Eating Away at society. Terror is their Lifeblood, their Addiction; they always need more. Even without the Random bombings, life here is terror. How else to describe a place with no Tomorrow?
The Entitlement of the Green Zoners gives them a license for Tyranny. They live in dire fear of the Evil they have Unleashed over the centuries. They believe that by calling themselves Good they can kill at Will any person they deem Bad. Their self-Paranoia devours them even without the Bombers to provide an Incarnate enemy. For the bombers, their bombs are their Words and Destruction their creed. Two sides of a coin Fighting one another in hopeless Deadlock.
I am not Immune to the Rage, our true Enemy. Many are those whose sole Dedication is keeping rage alive. Peace is the Provocation for their bombings. To them, if others Live they feel terrorized; Left Behind. While at the same time the Overlords feel terrorized by the Truth, waging war with Lies as Weapons. This is our Madness. As the Brown Clouds deepen in darkness, blocking the Sun, Draining our crops and Souls, we go ever more insane. How can we not?
What is Done is done because we each pursue the Path we believe will bring us Love.
Sunday, March 20, 2016
I was running down the road yesterday when I Stopped. I knew why I was running - no one can take a chance of coming across a Patrol Unit and having a Mind Scan done - but then it hit me. What am I running To? Realizing that Question caused me to Halt in my tracks. Nowhere. There's nowhere to go.
Part of me wanted to Lay Down and die right then and there. Truth is, that Feeling still lingers. I feel it will be with me until the End. The Green Zones shrink smaller every day. And the Viciousness to stay within them is as Brutal and Animalistic as anything we did in the Old World. It's Unbelievable that after having Ruined one planet we'd repeat it all over again. Only this time there's no near Star to bail us out. There's no more chances Left.
I won't say we came here with the best of Intentions (though most say otherwise). We were somewhat humbled and Scared of ourselves, but not Reborn. Secretly, we saw this as a Chance to try our old Ways once more, as if our previous Destruction had been nothing but bad luck. It was Deliberate then, it's Deliberate now. You see, we don't truly Believe there's another way but to Plunder. That's because we don't believe in Ourselves. And when you don't believe in yourself you Know you have No future. So the ideas of Preservation and Salvation become moot in your mind. May as well rape, murder and plunder for Tomorrow we Die.
Outside the Green Zones it's easy to see the Myopic Insanity. I feel it myself when I'm there. The Disconnects, the Denialists, the Destroyers, the Death Worshipers see the greenery and think they'll live forever. It's Overwhelming the desire to feel the Good Things will always be, that your Acts have meaning, and to Forget the soul-sucking doom of facing life on a Ghost Planet. I have wondered what Alien travelers will think once we make this world Uninhabitable too. Have other life forms done this or are we the mockery of the Universe?
So if I die Today, what of it? I could save a Thousand Lives only for them to face Ultimate Despair later. The things we need do to Keep Alive is what advances us down the road to Hell. The slow Starvation of a depleted planet is a memory that cannot be Undone. I Weep as I Walk. I stumble Forward but know not Why. Is it Possible there's any other place in the universe where Love is so Unrewarded?
Sunday, August 30, 2015
The latest Enforcers are call the New Strain. Born out of an Idea from the Supreme Power Lord who's so Tormented he can never Sleep, the enforcers are injected into Hyper activity until they drop dead. Dropping Dead on the job is also the new badge of Honor. Vacant souls line up for this latest Glory, praised by the Propagandists and Blessed by their mothers to be Good citizens. To admit they're Lunatics would be to admit our entire Society is lunatic.
The stories are horrific. Some recruits die Instantly with the first Injection. It's a rite of passage to survive it followed by a Ceremony of celebration. Those who die are privately sneered upon for not having what it takes; too Human. The Indoctrination is both mental and physical - even enforcers outside of the New Strain fear these Maniacs. Anyone caught finding life Precious is considered Weak and Inferior. Hell's hand reaches out from the Old World.
The Supreme Power Lord trolls among the troops to inspire them to even less Sleep. He fills their heads with Grand Visions that they are the ruling elite to be hailed by History. They do Savagery in the Name of right, playing this principle to the hilt. "He who Questions least is the greatest Patriot." This New Strain hates their enemy who Rests, rousting them in the night to Chambers without light or sound. Though they know the injections Shorten their life, the enforcers feel they have an Advantage over Ordinary souls who still seek sleep.
The longer the Waking period, the more willingly Heinous the crimes. Reality becomes Distorted: paranoia for Breakfast; Suicide for lunch. The misdeeds Infect them, driving them even further down the road of hyper Cruelty. There are rumors of those missing their injection time going stark raving Mad as Sobriety brings them back to Self-Awareness. It's also Rumored the Supreme Power Lord has the same blood Chemistry as the New Strain even having never taken an injection. He's kept awake by his Own Private Hell.
Who can see a Future in this? It's as if we're being Swallowed whole while no one Notices. These Fools speak of their Place in history, but who will be left Alive to even know we existed?
Wednesday, July 08, 2015
As the Green Zones shrink with each Passing day as the Overlords proclaim a Reversal of that will happen if only we would Support them and the police Hounds are given ever greater rule to protect Hoarding the dwindling resources there is no Place one can go and feel safe while connected to Reality even in the most ensconced green zone Bubbles. This is also true at the opposite end of the Spectrum.
Driven by Boredom I ventured into the Wasteland just to see what I could See. That's when I saw the first of the Blown Bridges. This made no Sense to me. Is everything built to be Unbuilt? Is that Progress? How can a man make a Difference in a world like that? What work can have Meaning if its ultimate fate is to be reversed? Then I recalled a Story I'd read of art torched by the Power gods because it Reflected "poorly" on us.
Of course, if we continue our Death Trip to complete self-annihilation it's hard to Imagine anything speaking more Poorly of us than an extinct world.
Only the very Outer bridges were gone and an Uncomfortable feeling settled on me I couldn't quite connect. I felt this for several days before I met an Outlyer drifter more familiar with the Waste lands than I. He said they had to blow the Bridges to hide the growing Pollution. If the Green Zoners knew pollution was on the way to destroy their bubble then they'd have to change their Way Of Life - the Worst fate of all. The power gods decided the Toxins must be Hidden at all costs in order to preserve their Moral standing.
"But the pollution still comes anyway in the end if it's not stopped and kills their 'way' regardless!" I protested.
The Drifter shrugged because he'd never seen the Point of life to begin with. I surely do Wish I could know why I am stuck with this Knowledge for all the good it does on a Dying planet I cannot change. But even as I longed for Ignorance, the dots suddenly Connected for me. This is all part of a greater Communication Breakdown.
Bridges literal and Spiritual must be Destroyed to prevent Our truths from reaching us. This isn't a Functioning society, it's nothing but a gigantic Cover Up. As we hurl towards the end we Desperately smash Mirrors whether in Art or in Nature. Death is protected in the Name of preserving life. No place is safe, even in your Head.
Saturday, June 27, 2015
"Why do I breathe? Where can I go?"
His eyes could See but did not see me as I rushed to his side. He'd staggered under a tree to find rest but the turmoil in his soul was Forbidding peace. Hollowed with black Emptiness were his Eyes, blinded by untold years of despair. He heard my voice as a Distant sound, as if we were on two sides of a fence. His body was scabbed bloody, Poisoned from within by the Factory Grind. I had no answers on how to Heal him.
"The Gears must keep turning!" Like a Knife slowly penetrating his heart, this had been drilled into him with relentless 24/7 brainwashing fed over loudspeakers. His Life was to be used up and thrown away, a legal Slave in the eyes of his Masters. Above the Workers was a glass ceiling that served as a floor by the higher ups who watched and Orgied themselves like Vampires. "I know it's Wrong but Please let it last for One more Day," moaned a woman of the Realm.
She knew not what she Asked - but she should have. In the Old World slavery was in the open for all to see. We Outlawed it as a classification but obviously not as a Practice. What Shudders me most is a slave Descendant oversees the factories and is more Ruthless than ever before. The Burn Out told me the wheels of Society were greased by the "Screams of Dreams." They were Whipped with threats of Banishment to the Dead Zone. Life lost all Point, living and dying the Same. It was, he said, like being Buried alive. This perhaps, is the greatest Dirty secret of the Green Zones.
Mercifully, he started to Slip away from this World. What dreams have we been Cheated of? I Knew then at that Moment. We cheat ourselves of Dreams that could Save this planet. As the final Light departed from his being I could see that his hopes were Our hopes and I could not help but think that our once Glorious outpost would become nothing but a Wasteland from end to end.