"A Daylight Death"

"A Daylight Death". That's the name I gave to a writing I found by a Green Zone Boy whose zone had shrunk and he found himself on the Wrong Side of fate. In Green Zones, few concepts are more Revered than that of the Holy Soldier. Thusly, never are they Prepared when the Power Lords turn the soldiers Against them and Rape them for their Resources.

I'm oddly fascinated by Green Zone ruins. Maybe it's because I'm hoping I can find Artifacts like this one. The water stained Notebook I found would mean Nothing to most but is most Precious to me. I don't know Why this Story hurt me so Badly when I've heard of a thousand Tragedies already. I just Know I felt I was there as one boy's existence went from Blue Skies to Living Hell.
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"It's true, the Apocalypse really does come in the Twinkling of an eye.

"A bunch of girls were moving in across the street so me and the guys helped them move in. Man, were we happy to see them! And I think they liked us too. It's so different to be in a house where everything is pink and frilly. I was excited and filled with anticipation. I didn't know exactly what but I knew something good was coming! My dad needed some tools to help repair one of their shelves so he sent me back home to fetch them. Walking outside I remember thinking it was the bluest sky I’d ever seen.

"I was noticing how finely manicured Mrs. Crenshaw's lawn was kept when I heard the low drone of planes in the distance. Warning bells immediately went off inside me but against my wishes I fought them back to silence. We'd all heard the rumors we could be a target for Takeover but no one wanted to believe it. Everyone laughed at the crazy man down the street barricading his house. This has always been a totally safe Green Zone and always would be. That was the general feeling. But then I glimpsed the Soldiers Without Souls and my world turned upside down.

"They were coming up the street wordlessly, marching in double time. They seemed to take pleasure in the shock and surprise they caused. I just barely escaped notice. Luckily, I was wearing my green camouflage and it actually came in handy as I jumped behind Mrs. Crenshaw's hedge. After the running troops passed, a second set came through searching more thoroughly. I knew what would happen if they saw me. I'd be drafted in and fed drugs to keep me obedient and forced to the front lines as shields for the veterans. I wish all soldiers would die.

"I saw them invade the girls' house and heard the screams and shouts. My brothers were taken away in an army truck and my father handcuffed, headed to a detention camp. The girls went from innocent thoughts of boys to dire thoughts of survival if they were ever to see food again. That's what this was all about after all: who has food and who does not. Frozen in a fear more terrifying than I knew fear could be I watched a soldier post a sign stating, "Destroy your pets or we'll kill them for you." Pet feeding is strictly forbidden in a Takeover zone. Once the hell starts it never stops coming. And what once was is never again. This was never supposed to happen to us. I don't know where to turn."

I stumbled over a Question and fell into a Time Well.

I stumbled over a Question and fell into a Time Well. The question was 'Why?' Why am I writing this anyway? At first it seemed obvious to report on the Outrageous Behavior of these Lying Times. I had a vague Feeling my journal would be Useful as a testament to our Misguided Ways. We'd look back on this as a Close Call as we started an inevitable Healing Process. But, really, will Salvation come without us Seeking it?

I've lost all interest in the Political and Topical Issues. When I hear such discussions now it's like seeing two people argue over a sand castle as a Tidal Wave approaches. Everyone misses the Big Picture. So it got me Thinking: will These Words ever be read? Am I truly serving a Greater Good?

Scary part was I was happy sitting at the Bottom of a Time Well. What meaning has Time for me? How can I save the Sand Castle unless we all Strive for it together? My hand Hesitated with Hopelessness. I had started to write of the Call for More Power by the Overlords when it Struck me I may as well be on one of the Moons. But my Job is to Live and this journal keeps me Alive.

And I must Strive for that Regardless of the decisions of others.

I met a War Man and he was Alive with Fire.

I met a War Man and he was Alive with Fire. Rarely do you see a soul so Confidently Blind. There will be War, he said, until the Final Time. Those of war would be Useful and all others, Deserving Casualties. He spoke of the Glory of the War Machine and how no man could Resist it. In fact, you could hear his Contempt for anyone who failed to Worship his war god.

Vibrant as only a True Believer can be, he explained how he was doing God's Will, preserving the Good and Righting the world. The solution to our Ills is obvious: more war. War Fixes things and gets us where we Want To Be. It's a Zero Sum Game, kill or be killed. Thus Preached the true believer.

He knew as a Man of War praise could always be had. Those with Resources would love him and declare him Holy for his War-making talents. Like all Fools who believe they have found the Answer To Life, he loved to share his Joy of the As-Yet-To-Be-Realized-Myth of his evil being a Necessary Evil - the Holy Grail of all Losers.

Victory for the War Man meant never having to Love.

I listened to the Pulse of the Planet and I heard a Lonely Heartbeat.

I listened to the Pulse of the Planet and I heard a Lonely Heartbeat. Millions of Souls crying out for Freedom. In the Outland they talk openly of our Eminent Demise but such talk is Stamped Down in the Green Zones. But the Power Lords know someday the Shortages will reach even them. This leaves them Isolated for their solution is to Never Share. They get away with this because as a Whole we Believe the same. And that makes our Heart race.

"Anything that makes you want to Live is the Enemy." I am Haunted by these words from a Dying Outlander. Fed Starvation Wages - a virtual Slave - his only reward for work was a guaranty of More Misery. The Power Lords preached his labors were Godly and Good. Some of the Slaves even Drink this preached Poison as a substitute for a Meaningful Life. But the Overlords are merely Parasites - and in the End slaves to the Slaves who Feed them.

We are the Architects of our own Destruction - therefore only We can Undo our doings. Many Solutions That Do Not Solve are proponed for our Salvation. Everything from Mystery Technology to Fictional Facts to the Religion of Men are meant to keep our Eyes Closed to our Doom. We fear No One Will Love Us if we Admit we are Wrong. I fear No One Will Be Left if we don't.

"The truth is for losers."

"The truth is for losers." These Words of Enlightenment came to me at the end of a conversation with a Living Liar. His kind are particularly Alive in these times, feeling the Winds of the Times at their backs. Sanctioned by a feeling of Official Approval, these Beady-Eyed bastards feel free to Seek Out and Exploit any Weakness they can find. Nothing brings a smile of Satisfaction to the Power Lords like seeing these Sowers of Chaos ply their trade. It's good for keeping the Little People in Tangled Webs.

His eyes brimming with vibrancy, the Lying Man chastised me for Defending the Truth in my conversation. He told me I was behind the Times and truth held No Meaning anymore. Smart People, he said, are the ones who can Lie the best. He claimed if I stuck with truth I'd be Swallowed Whole and Left Behind. Reality exists only in the Mind, he insisted, and the object is to win the War of Words. He then went on to Brag how he'd successfully Defended an argument espousing the Earth Is Flat.

But the more I listened to his game of Self-Deception the more I Amused I became - until finally I Angered him with a Laugh.

Yes, I could see he was a Master at pervading the Prevailing Thought and this Perversion was his god. But, dude, while it’s true Changing Peoples' Minds can change Our Reality it sure as hell won’t change the Laws of Nature! Somewhere Inside you still have to Know that. Love requires No Lying.

Happiness: The New Crime

Happiness: The New Crime. Some people are completely Oblivious to the Times. Oh sure, I'm sure somewhere in their Consciousness it registers what's going on but they walk around Blind to what anyone else is Feeling. As we continue to Erode, these folks will be known as Targets. The Bitter Malcontents, the Violent Losers, the Self-Defeated - these and other Cretins are climbing out from under their rocks no longer able to Suffer the Fury of their Seething Frustration.

When the Rock People spot a Target, they start off with an accusatory Verbal Assault which provokes the oblivious soul to Retaliate in kind. That is exactly the Torment the Rock People hope to achieve. To see another angry, red-faced human screaming in Dissatisfaction brings them a Temporary Comfort, sort of like an Addict getting a Fix. It's not hard to Imagine one day the Entire Planet engulfed in Flaming Debate.

The Dissatisfied - They Who Are Unhappy With Their Choices - are gaining nerve to finally Prey upon the Innocents - They Who Are Genuinely Happy. But the Innocents who cling to Creating Life simply because they Know they should will Live Forever. This has been Revealed to me. I often laugh at the Conflicted as they Defend the World while clearly Hating it. Convincing others you're happy won't make you Happy. But these are the Times that force one to Come Clean or Die.

I think that's what they call separating the Wheat from the Chaff.

Men Without Minds have a Special Place in this world.

Men Without Minds have a Special Place in this world. I've witnessed their Training as they prepare to spread their Self-Loathing like the plague. These Dogs of War are Willing Puppets to their Soulless Masters. The Terror these beasts have brought into their own lives they now Gleefully Infect into the remaining Innocents. The Sight of this Delights the Cruel Overlords.

Men Without Minds are like Broken Dolls, Crying Out to be put Back Together again but we say the Purpose of our dying planet is not to Fix One Another. So these Shattered Beings wander in Lost Pursuits, craving Love and Approval for a Bent Existence they know No One can love. Well, no one except for the Corrupt Kings. I watched aghast at the Indoctrination Ceremony at a training camp Hidden deep in the Outlands. A Barker from On High whipped the Wolves to a Frenzy:

"Are we not always the Good Guys?"

"Yes, God is on our side!"

"Will we not always do our Duty to Make The World Safe?"

"Duty before all!"

"Are we not going to fight to protect our families and our way of life?"

"To the death!!"

"Remember, your lives are Worthless, but we can put them to Good Use and give your life Meaning. There is Nothing more Noble than to Serve! The Blessings of Obedience will shower endlessly upon those who do Good. The key is to Obey: for those who obey Can Do No Wrong!"

With Red Faces and Brown Shirts the brainwashed dogs of war cheered their newfound Worth. But all I really saw were eyes asking, "Where is the Love?"

We've gone from Delusional Denials to Suicidal Solutions.

We've gone from Delusional Denials to Suicidal Solutions. First the Fight was to Admit we have any sort of Environmental Problems - and don't get me wrong, there are still Stubbornists who'll never admit anything is wrong right down to the Bitter End - but now it's widely accepted that on some level our Pollution is actually Detrimental. Taken to its logical conclusion it means we Cease To Exist as a species. Can't say we don't exactly deserve such a Horrid Fate - how can one Choose Death and yet Expect Life?

But the thought of Ultimate Extinction is Unbearable to many.

So the New Hip is to believe in False Solutions. We're doing what it takes to Turn Things Around and Make It All Good. There's a whole Holy Litany of Little Things we Little People should do to make up for our Self Poisoning. It's sort of like saying you want to Reach the Moon and your Plan is to Jump on top your desk. True, technically speaking, you are closer, but the reality is it's Meaningless. All things done without Love are meaningless. As we talk of applying band aids to the Gangrene of our Profit(less) System, we are losing our Beloved Planet. Good plan that!

Funny thing, though: today, I decided to Live Forever.

"The truth will not Suffice!"

"If that's the Truth," she huffed, "then the Truth will not Suffice!"
Amazing. Simply amazing how the Truth has become merely Just Another Point Of View. Something to be Accepted or Rejected as We See Fit. Something we Deem to be Optional. Something we regard as having No Bearing on our Final Fate. Seems we've Lied to Ourselves for so long we actually believe it can go on Forever.

The Insane Woman who spewed forth such utter contempt for Reality did so in a planetwide debate for All To See. Even without hearing her words one could see she was Angry and Twisted and Eaten Up with Self Desire. A Maniac, her voice was Rabid and Tyrannical with deluded conviction, tolerating no Dissent. This Zealous Defender of the world hysterically labeled the Need For Change an hysterical idea. She Railroaded her viewpoint down their Throats while charging them with the Same Crime. It was a Beautiful Act of deception and the Insane Woman was quite pleased afterwards with her viciousness as she sported Smiles of Malicious Glee.

But what Bothered Me Most was not that a woman such as her got a Seat at the Table, or even that her Insane Outlook was Prominently Featured, no what bothered me most was the complete Lack of Outrage to the Utter Nonsense she spoke. Some were even Vehemently on her side, most Proclaimed Irrelevantly everyone has a right to their own opinion and only very few saw her for what she Truly is: an Agent of Destruction.

In the post debate analysis, the Cowardly Media in a False Feint towards Objectivity, gave each of these Reactions Equal Weight.

"You can do Anything you Want to people and God will Not stop you."

"You can do Anything you Want to people and God will Not stop you. Lie, cheat, steal and look to the Sky. Then laugh." The man was Old and Hollow and Empty then, but his eyes Lit Up when talking of his Glory Days of Evildoing. Fear, he said, is what holds people in check - fear of Themselves. "Corrupt them with Greed and they'll Never Stand against you." He was Boasting, assuming I was of his ilk, and it rejuvenated his Rotted Soul to recall times of exploring Life and losing the fear of God.

It's been many a Moon since I talked to that Trashed Out old man but I was reminded of him today when I heard a Directive to the Masses. Literally, they said, "Get used to it." The Powerbrokers have run out of new places to reap Profits so the Weak in the Green Zones must give up theirs. Welcome to the Age Of Cannibalism.

But the Old Man was right. True, there were complaints as they were forced to Hand Over their profits but the masses did not stand against the Few. Why? Because they too want to be as the Power Lords. They too believe the Profit System is the Only Possible Way. They are so Possessed they give away their own Lives - which is What It Means to be possessed.

I guess I have to call it the Infinity of Nature.

I guess I have to call it the Infinity of Nature. I visited a Green Zone Garden today and when I saw the Trees and the Sun and the Majesty I knew ours is a Tragedy Not Meant To Be. We are a part of something larger: the Fabric of the Universe. When I'm back amidst the Glory of nature it reminds me of all the Initial Excitement of our creation and the limitless (though mostly unsought) opportunities of Life. It makes me want to build something for the Ages. It makes me want to live Forever.

We pollute of our own Free Will. As I gazed upon the curved Branches bending towards the Sun, I thought it a metaphor for us also to seek out the Light. To drop the Burdens of destruction. To Sing as One with the birds. To fulfill our Destiny of love.

I'm a scared and lonely soul walking the face of this Outpost. I understand Fear. I see the Man in shackles raise his hands and Praise the shackles - thinking that will Save him. But I know all men want to be Free of the bindings that Kill our spirit and Choke our dreams. It is truly a Paradise Lost. And all we had to do was Let It Be.

Have mine eyes seen Too Much?

Have mine eyes seen Too Much? I fear so. In the Green Zones, one can still live life as a Lark, safely cocooned from Encroaching Realities. Don't get me wrong, I begrudge them not any laughter, joy, Love or healing still to be found on this cruel, miserable orb. I too wish to live, I too yearn to live carefree in the Green Zones and I too ache for shelter from our Wounding Wars. Enviously, I look upon those Souls who count among their gravest worries the fanciness of their shoes. Then I remember last month's Food Riots in the Outlands.


The world is a Criminal Enterprise. Profits count, People don't - which puts us in the Untenable Position as a race of not mattering. Sheer Insanity. So no matter how deeply I burrow into the Green Zone comforts, I can't forget the Tragedies I've witnessed. I can't forget the Men With Guns, the Raped Women or the Mutilated Children. These images are Seared into my mind. Green Zoners know these abominations exist - and thus devote their lives to Avoiding them - which is a Death Wish.

We may perish as a planet, I understand that, but our Dreams - unspoken or not - will live on forever, floating through the Universe as timeless reminders of our existence, Eternal Echos of love never shared.

I have found the True Enemy: Rational Thought

I have found the True Enemy: Rational Thought. I used to think people were being Attacked and Savaged for who or what they were. But it's clear now: anyone at anytime who speaks a Rational Thought receives instantaneous Rebuke and Retribution. The Irrationalists squeal in deafening pain the moment a True Word is spoken. Their Howling gives no quarter to the offender; it's a wailing as if hot coals were placed upon these Liars' foreheads. Rational thought is Unbearable because they know it means Doom for them.

When you see Evil win day after day, when you see it Grow In Authority and Power, you start to wonder: why do I still honor the Truth? It seems as if truth has No Meaning! The liars grow bolder, crawling out of the Dark, declaring death is Life. Mockers still exist to Mock such insanity, but their Voices are fading. For you see, if death is not life then we must Change the road we're on.

And that's where we draw the line. The faces of my fellow Centaurians sag with the Heavy Weight they carry and I know the Resentment that brings. This resentment is Viral, with fuses shortening over time until Hair Trigger Responses exact instant outrage upon any light that Shines upon their Idiocy.

These are Dangerous Times and I too am afraid to speak of honest feelings.

The Clock is ticking as the beat grows Louder.

The Clock is ticking as the beat grows Louder. You can see it in their eyes. The desperate clutching onto the last Shreds of Life before the well runs dry. Officially, we are not allowed to admit we are coming to The End. We are not supposed to believe our eyes and ears but instead put our faith into Wishful Thinking that an Answer will appear. Funny thing is, there really is an answer: admit we're fucking up and Change.

It is said that to be cut off from Love is as to be cut off from Air. Which means For A Time, you can survive but the window is short. We are in that Window now. Seeing No Tomorrow, the restraints are dissolving. They ask what's the point of Preserving that which is soon to be destroyed? An Unwritten Rule is forming giving blessing to any grab for the Good Life any way you can. In the Back Rooms, men are manipulating profits without conscience, maiming the lives of millions to benefit only themselves. And there is no Outrage from this.

Those whose lives that have not yet been rendered to merely a Struggle For Survival have surrended to Excess. Consume food, sex, any form of life you find - Consume it before it's too late. They declare themselves Hip for this admittance of our destruction but who is that parties when Eternal Blackness is the price? They consider those who pursure the Endless Dream as deluded fools chasing something that can never be. And thusly they Accept the coming of Eternal Blackness - and it is they who shall Never Be.

Eternal Blackness will come, and with it, Eternal Regret.

He was a man driven to Madness. I'm sure I'll be meeting More

He was a man driven to Madness. I'm sure I'll be meeting More. His mind snapped from Perpetual Fear, his spirit soon followed from Biting Despair. When the Illusion of Civilization and the Veneer of Care had been ripped from his eyes, the Ugly Reality was too much strain. He retreated into a tormented world of his own in order to escape a Tormented World.

I managed to calm him (with some effort) and I found he had taken on a fool's occupation: an Honest Reporter. He said he had uncovered a Great Crime sure to do harm to us all and yet, no one cared. The reporter Crusaded Valiantly but the powers-that-be merely impugned him and smeared his name. But he was Salty and his Will strong. He further proved his point by finding deeper crimes of destruction but as he spread the word the Final Horror dawned on him: all was Apathy. Shrugged Shoulders dismissed him saying, "Reality is whatever we say it is."

I too once spoke the truth and was Crucified for it so I knew the Man's pain. He'd had his Faith in his fellow man torn asunder and that he could not Survive. I tried to Console him on this our Dying Planet and the Failure of his fellow man on whom we depend. I spoke of one day when Justice would come to set things right and we would Blossom once again.

"When?" he barked. "When we're all dead?"

I told him it would be a time of no reporters, for everyone would already know the Truth. His brow unfurrowed and he gave me a Weak Smile, slowly daring to Believe as he walked away.

It's a Curse to bless a Dying Planet.

It's a Curse to bless a Dying Planet. And it's a Blessing to curse a Dying Planet. Welcome to the Age of the Pervert King, who boldly walks down the well manicured streets blessing our destructive ways and calling our evil good. Like Hopeless Puppets we all must applaud when he says we are great and we all must deride the one who calls us anything but Holy. As Fear and Gnawing Guilt overtake us, the Pervert King comes to soothe us and remove the pain of our common enemy: Reality. Never before has he reached such popularity or been so highly courted. Today is the pervert's Finest Hour.

But no hate is too much hate for Truth Tellers who make us Look Bad. For this Unforgivable Crime we brazenly proclaim our righteous outrage and how never should such behavior be Tolerated. Surely the Zealotry of our hatred proves the merits of our Goodness. I heard a Propagandist talk about how in the old days we were a "primitive and ignorant people", his implication being that now we are Smart Enough To Sin and thusly incapable of destroying our home.

But I have a feeling our ancient counterparts would look upon us with Confusion. Why is it, they ask, do we put poison in our Air, Land and Water? Why is it we do not live as One so that we may survive? Why is it we so ruthlessly and dogmatically worship a god that does not Profit us? I too would love to know the answer to these questions. Yes, we have found technology - but lost Our Way.

For far too many, only Death will suffice as Proof of our Wrong-headedness.

To find Peace in a world gone Mad, you must find a place of Abandonment.

To find Peace in a world gone Mad, you must find a place of Abandonment. I walk in silence down this oily, dirt road, its fine dust stained by Careless Processes and Industrial Haste. With the life soaked out and the land suffocated with Metal Fatigue, I can't live here for long. And yet, only in this place do I Breathe. The Exploiters and Reapers won't come back here. I am safe inside the Abscess of their extractions.

Begrudgingly allowing a few slits of Sunshine, the machine room rules in glorious Disrepair. Without the Frantic Humans to tend and worship it, it carries all the Disdain of a fallen god. A single red diode blinks intermittently, the Lonely Sentinel of an ancient monitoring system. No one told it Time was up and the human worship would Move On. For that which has been branded Useless, no quarter is granted. And God help the humans Branded us such.


Riding a giant Tidal Wave, we have Peered over the world from Heights never before seen. Our Fruitful Ways, we said, will go on Forever. But all waves are Artificial and must eventually Crash. Eventually the Hunters will find me even here. The Day of the Dictator is returning and they who support it know that is Wrong. For this reason, they must wipe out Dissent. The Power Lords see the wave is waning, and as Desperation clutches their throats, they Scramble to gather all resources to themselves. My Hungry Mouth will be seen only as a Liability.

But in the end, when the Final Crash of the wave comes, no one will be Spared.

The Hell we all Wanted is finally here.

The Hell we all Wanted is finally here. The System is breaking down and Chaos has come to Rule in fiery torment. Hunger and Sorrow spread like an Incurable Plague. I see Blank Eyes in both the living and the dead. I'm just Scrambling now, abandoning any hope for Stability.

I haven't felt much like writing lately. What's the use? I'm recording our Destruction to Ashes for what? No one Learns or Asks Questions or even tries at all. They think - if Think is the word - that to Question is not in our best interest. Never in History has Blindness been so blindly hailed.


We ourselves don't believe we Deserve to live. Why else would we be Wiping ourselves out? I see my fellow Man crawling through the Streets of Despair and I know one day that will be me. But the Hysteria of the Day mandates No Criticism. People of Integrity are never bothered by criticism. Corrupt People can't bear it. If no criticism exists - Corrupt people hope - then the Corrupt can have a Future. Such is the Folly that Surrounds me and Chokes me.

We laughably like to trust in our Armies of Death and Propaganda and Laws of Illusion to rule the world when the world is already ruled by our Soul. The Dividing Time is coming and I will be labeled a Disloyal by the Men With Guns. My only Solace will be to know they will merely have my dead body - yet I will have their Souls. At the time, this will not bother the Men With Guns.


Until they find out it's their Souls they Wanted all along.